My Alter Ego

So the last few days I have been really disturbed by what I would refert to as “my other self”. Now before you go calling the mental institution to admit me, read on.

As far back as college I have been known to talk (and sometimes walk) in my sleep. Not really a huge problem you might think. The problem arises because when I talk in my sleep I am usually not nice. And when I say “not nice” what I really mean is “downright mean”! For example I am commonly known for sitting up and telling others to “shutup”, “you might as well turn the lights on because you have already woken me up”, “SSSHHHHH! I’m trying to sleep”, etc. One night I awoke in the middle of having walked to our upstairs door, opened it and yelled at my husband to “STOP BEING SO LOUD ALREADY”. I was mortified as I came to.

You likely won’t believe me but unless I actually wake myself up in the act I do not recall any of this. Most of the incidences listed above are stories shared by roommates, family, friends and my husband. SERIOUSLY, I don’t remember doing this stuff and I am not fond of the person that emerges while I am sleeping!

What upsets me is that I am so mean in my sleep. Why is that? And the preson that is really suffering here is my husband! He is the usual recipient of these sleepful verbal tirads. He likes to refer to the sleeping version of me as the “real me”; the one I really want to be but can’t by day. Really, it is a joke amongst the two of us but the whole thing is really starting to bother me. Mostly because I don’t like uncontrollably being unkind to those I love. And now that I am “waking” up to take care of my son I sometimes find that this “mean” self lingers after I awaken. I find myself crazily upset that he woke up at 1 am – I’m not really upset, for goodness sakes he only usually gets up once in the night – I am so blessed! But none the less the sleep version of me seems to take over some nights.

At any rate, this has been a long rant about sleep talking, but honestly I am at a loss for what to do or how to fix the problem. Anyone have any suggestions? Anyone know a counselor who will counsel me while I sleep?

To my husband (and anyone that ventures to room with me in the past or in the future) SORRY!